All Together Now

Unless you are a major fan of the band Phish (I am not…but I know there are lots of you out there!), the name Tom Marshall likely does not ring a bell. That’s OK.

Tom Marshall is to Phish what Bernie Taupin is to Elton John, or what Robert Hunter is to the Grateful Dead.

Elton John met Bernie Taupin very early in his career as they were both trying to land recording contracts. Elton could write great music, Bernie could write great lyrics. Elton was on stage. Bernie was in the shadows. They both were incredibly successful, and sold 380 million albums.

Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead was an excellent guitarist and songwriter, and his friend Robert Hunter had limited guitar skills, but could write beautiful lyrics like…

“There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone”

Together they wrote over 80 songs and sold millions of records. Jerry was on stage. Robert was in the shadows. They both were incredibly successful. They sold 35 million albums.

Tom Marshall, for all of us non-Phish Heads, has been in the shadows. Working with childhood best friend and Phish lead singer and guitarist Trey Anastasio, they created songs that have connected with millions of people. Tom met Trey when they were just kids, and they became best friends. They began writing songs together almost immediately.

As is the case for many good friends, birthdays are a big deal, and when they were only 8 or 9 years old, they created a tradition of writing a new song as a birthday gift for each other every year, the only rule being that the song had to begin with “Happy, happy oh my friend.”

Trey created Phish during college, and he and Tom wrote songs together during those early years, including those on their major label debut album Hoist in 1994. Trey and Tom eventually had a falling out. Time went by, and they didn’t talk. Then suddenly in 2007, out of the blue, Tom emailed Trey. It was Trey’s birthday. The email was a poem that began with, you guessed it, “Happy, happy oh my friend.”

A peace offering was made. An olive branch was extended. Trey called Tom back within just a few hours of receiving the email. They hadn’t spoken in years. Trey played Tom a demo recording of a song he just wrote, complete with guitar, bass, drums and harmonies.

“Happy happy oh my friend
Blow out candles once again
Leave the presents all inside
Take my hand and let’s take a ride”

How apropos their amends was made with an actual keepsake of their friendship. This is not about presents. This is not about expectations. This is not about arguments. This is just about two friends. Just them.

“Backwards down the number line
You were eight and I was nine
Do you know what happened then
Do you know why we’re still friends

Laughing all these many years
We’ve pushed through hardships tasted tears
We made a promise one to keep
I can still recite it in my sleep”

Numbers on a line, points of demarcation. Birthdays, buying a new car, kids being born, parents dying, a particularly good meal. We mark our lives by these major and minor events as the years go by. All that time has passed. All those days are gone. But they can get back together, they just have to remember what brought them together in the first place. The laughter. The tears. The promises they made to each other. The promise they are still trying to keep.

The promise is explained in the next verse.

“Every time a birthday comes
Call your friend and sing a song
Or whisper it in to his ears
Or write it down just don’t miss a year”

The song sounds airy and well worn, like a comfortable pair of shoes. Something that has been in your life for years. Maybe you haven’t worn them awhile, but take them off the shelf. Loosen the laces and slide them on your feet. They are just as comfortable and familiar as they have ever been.

“You decide what it contains
How long it goes
But this remains
The only rule is it begins
Happy happy oh my friend”

This is how they see the world. Friendships. Best friends, good friends, close friends. Points on a number line. Events that make a life.

“And all my friends come
Backwards down the number line”

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